I work in media, I suppose that means I need to consider blogging. Considered and done. Now for the only question that really matters – Will I become one of those many millions of people who’s voice is lost in the ether, or will my efforts to publish some semblance of valuable, meaningful communication become some kind of bold legacy when I am long gone? I have other questions… Will I learn how to cut down my very verbal rambling style of writing? Will I ever quit all this media nonsense to become a writer? Will I actually use my English language and literature degree for the greater good, or will I just accept that I’m yet another wanker with a blog. I think I’ve already accepted that actually.

As far as I understand it, blogs are meant to have a purpose. So here’s mine: to better the world with a content rich blog about the trials and tribulations of being a middle class Jewish Londoner who works in advertising, loves (and hates) Arsenal and wants to become either a successful sitcom writer, or a wealthy entrepreneur. I think this is niche enough to gather quite a specific and passionate audience. I will explain why:

1) Being middle class means I dont have to moan about living off the state by claiming welfare (insensitive lad) but I’m also not (yet) enough of a tosser to have a boat, play croquet on Sundays with Mildred, or learn to strum a harp. This makes me a “mild, to medium sized wanker” and I can live with that.

2) Arsenal. Everyone loves an underdog, and lads like reading about football. So I was never going to ignore this extremely important part of my life.

3) Sitcom writer. Ahhh the sitcom that never happened but fuck me I’ve spent a lot of my time trying to write. Maybe I can put some scenes on here for critical approval. Maybe I can just finish it. I was certain it was going to be a hit, and yet I never quite finished it. Signs of a tortured genius perhaps? For those that dont know it was called Stiff competition, and I promise you the content was at least mediocre. Now you’re hooked.

4) The wealthy entrepreneur angle – well, entrepreneurs are a nice tight knit supportive community, and basically we all search for the next big idea, make similar mistakes and swan around like we are moments away from hitting the proverbial nail on the head, when in reality we all suffer from dillusions of grandeur. In the interest of self mockery, I am sure this will provide a few classic moments to condescend myself.

5) Which brings me on to my last topic. Jewishness. Condescending oneself, or self depracation, being a fine Jewish trait is one thing, however I don’t fit quite the same Orthodox mould that others do. In fact, my main reason to bring up religion at all is my mother. She’s a typical Jewish mother… and a bit more. She’s absolutely hilarious at times, and for me not to share some of her gems with the world would be selfish.

So that’s the intro. More to come. Or perhaps I’ll forget to write another post ever again and will have wasted my time. Whatevs, we’ll see.

PS: Oh and I’m also on a super gay (sorry if that offends anyone, I mean happy, homosexual happy) diet and gym routine so that in the summer I look as fit as my girlfriend. I am sick and tired of people telling me I’m punching above my weight. Soon I’ll be punching them above their waist. MEGALOLZ. Long live wordplay.